Saturday, December 15, 2012


Post School Massacre, Americans Still Blame Islamic Boogeyman 
Domestic Terrorism not a Concern for War on Terror

(KB) Hartford - As the nation mourns from coast to coast - following two unrelated outbreaks of gun violence taking thirty lives - people are asking why, again, for the fortieth time in a decade.  Despite massive unconstitutional efforts such as the Patriot Act and the Homeland Security Department to tap phones, arrest tanned people and molest everyone at the airport, violence continues to ravage the country, month by month, year by year.  
"This isn't terrorism," says bureaucrat Finny McFlourideface.  "Terrorism is the product of third world evil-doing towel-heads, who take control of an aircraft of some sort.  What we saw today was simply a young man exercising his second amendment rights in order to murder 27 people. What's so wrong about that?"

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Study: Web Comments on News Articles Mean Absolutely Nothing

WASHINGTON (KB) -- A new study released by the University of Shit at Dover shows that user comments on internet news sites make no real actual change in geopolitics, public opinion, nor reality.  According to the study, 100% of comments go unseen, unnoticed and ungiven-a-fuck-about.  

"I used to get a laugh when I read comments on various news articles," says Peter Donnepockets, a frequent web-user from Isle of Wight.  "But now I don't read anything at all."

The current administration has been hard at work trying to make public influence a more profitable asset; however, public opinion has consistently failed to portray news in a positive light. 

"It's almost as if they don't read the articles," says President Barack Waste-of-time Obama, "like they don't want to hear our delicately manufactured lies.  It's a real eye-opener for me."

In the meantime, prominent news-sites have vowed to cancel any commentary on further articles in an effort to curb negative reaction to positive reports of progress progress progress

Thursday, August 30, 2012


This is an update.  The photo above was taken in Johor Bahru, Malaysia.  It is a scrappy border town on Hari Raya holiday.  The city center has been evacuated for the suburbs, leaving only a dazed mass of Bangladeshi migrant workers with nothing to do.  Gathered around the central bus stop, the horde of men stare at passers by and shift around on their stoops.  Nothing in their hands, they look useless and bored.  Nothing in their immediate future, they look agitated and confused.
             Here, we see a slight mockery as the local Chinese burn their dragon idols and carve up a roasted pig in the immediate presence of prophet Mohommad's fasting children.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Go to the park
and drink some beer
it's the sane thing
to do here
in Singapore

Like a Californian
without the mexicans
indonesians instead

very sterile
very white
very passive in the fight
against technological
automation consuming us all

a population born and bred
to constitute the NEW WORLD ORDER

25,000 miles away
the American culture
is being torn to shreds

and we will now destroy
everything in this world
that was born from our heads

say goodbye, my friend
the age of the aquarius is nigh
and this is your last
stressful, bitter, whiskeyed 


Had the chance
It was flashing in your eye
like a shiny coin
on the wet floor
in Kizilay

The hotel man
you never knew his name
his derelict past was your future plan

Until the turks took you down
a fisher pulled you up

so you went flapping down the pavement

and your spirit was finally sucked out

you had touched the MarMara Sea
And felt the cold of what could have been
by then too late though
the river had run
and you have been tied
around the great


guy on a plane
throwing a fit
there are peaches
in the garden
and he can't get his

guy goes to Thailand
picks up a hot one
pukes in a public toilet
feels the burn
teeth don't bite
for the rest of his life
his brain is a worm
for the rest of his life
eating his thoughts
for the rest of his life
never sees the beauty
of a woman
no way no how
for the rest of his life
While he drools out his heart
for the rest of this life

that was a bad plate of pork rice
he ate in Chiang Mai
for the rest of his life


weary traveler
orders a thai plate
of fried chicken and salad

weary traveler
looking like chris
in the final stage of fate

weary traveler
got a brown girl
so general of brown
would be from any
equatorial race
or one of the ten million islands

indonesian face

weary traveler
got yourself a book

listening to the beach boys
while you cut the meat
the chicken from the bone

so hungry
you eat with her in silence
for the beach boys blaring in your ear

cuts the meat
from the bone
the tastiest meat
you ever known

die, die
must try

die, die
must try

die, die
must try