MUNICIPAL

The Minneapolis skyline scoffs indignantly at its new neighbors

Bureaucratic Error Builds Nuclear Power Station Instead of Football Stadium Governor Dayton still doesn't know where he is
(KB)  MINNEAPOLIS - A major gaffe which occurred somewhere in the conduit between the state chambers and Hennepin County has left the city of Minneapolis with a 7,400 percent energy surplus.  
"But where will the Vikings play?" asks Ron Schlop, showing up in a team jersey and with a package of wieners.  "As a taxpayer, this really ticks me off.  I mean, we paid for a stadium, not this smoldering pile of crap."
Governor Dayton was also at the site today, apparently waiting for the game to begin.   He had a cup of beer and a foam finger to cheer on his hometown team.  "Isn't it wonderful?" he said, "Just a beautiful facility here.  Bang-up job.  Just beautiful.  GO VIKES!"
State Comptroller, Nancy Titt, places blame on Hennepin County officials.   "The money was allocated and passed the legislature and signed as a bill.  That money was then transferred to the proper county officials and subsequently released from our control yet still mandated for public use.  Whatever facility the city has constructed remains completely outside of our responsibility.  Besides, Russ Brandt is a lying, dirty, lecherous slimeball!"  
The Minnesota Vikings are a National Football League franchise that hasn't won a game since November 27, 1994 when they outed Tampa Bay 2 - 0.